Life Update 8/21/15

Well... It's currently 12:30am.

I was laying in bed, trying to sleep, but my mind was racing with all these thoughts on things that are going on right now. All I wanted to do was to talk to someone, but here I am... alone at 12 in the morning telling the unexpected victims who happened to stumble upon this post about my life.

So, for those who don't know, I really love acting. In fact, tryouts for the school play were last Tuesday. Meaning the cast list comes out tomorrow. And I'm basically screwed because I really want this one role, but you know how that goes. Whenever you really want a role, you never get it. I'm hoping for the best. As long as I don't have to talk in a British accent it should be fine... No matter the role, acting is still acting. I know I will have a great time on this set. I'm honestly just hoping someone I hate doesn't get the role I want !!! (I'm a horrible person.)

In other news, my first weekly drawing art critique is tomorrow and I feel a little sick. My art did not turn out the way I wanted. I made this collage based off the Thinking of You music video by Katy Perry. Basically it's like two lovers in the 1940s with war conflict. I'm not happy with how it turned out and I know it's going to be awful going around and seeing how everyone else did way better than me. Something you should know about me is that I'm really competitive. It's a blessing and a curse. 

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I don't know if I mentioned this- but I have an 18 year old sister. She's moving into college tomorrow and I'm not sure how I feel. Everyone keeps asking if I will miss her. How am I suppose to answer that? I won't know until she's gone. My sister is under this impression that I don't love her, which isn't true. I just have a hard time showing affection. That's why I hate when she gets all mad at me for not hugging her and saying I love her. I get physically uncomfortable. I'm not sure why. 

Okay the last thing I'm going to say in this post is on the topic of bad friends. I don't remember how much I mentioned this topic in my other posts, or if I even did at all, but I'm currently going some things with my friends... Or I guess just a friend and whoever they influence. Today I've come to the realization that most people I know have absolutely no idea how to be mature. So they can laugh all they want while I sit in the background watching them ruin other friendships. What's it to me? Nothing. Nothing at all... I'm done with one sided relationships.

Anyyywaaayyyy... That painting I mentioned in my last post is nearly finshed. More information to come soon...

(I made this post on my phone and I feel like a grandmother who's just learned how to use a phone)

Appreciating Your Own Art

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I'm quite the art junkie (may also be referred to as an art hoe… whatever you prefer.) I'm currently in Art 2 at school (meaning this is my second year of high school art… in case you couldn't tell.) I really love everything about art, you know… creating and admiring other's art. I still haven't decided who my favorite artist is, but I really like Monet… also Salvador Dali. That's besides the point though. What I wanted to talk about was liking art that you make yourself. This is something I really struggle with. I guess it's because I know what I want my art to look like, and it never turns out what I imagine in my head. 
The first project of Art 2 is a surrealism piece. Basically, you have to put your pet in a situation where it would not normally be. I decided to draw my dog in a forest as a deer. Because obviously that's not something she would normally be doing… at least I hope not.

My dog, Cassie

Above you see the picture of my dog that inspired my painting. See? She already kind of looked like a deer (I'm not talking about the antlers and hooves I drew on her.) 
Anyway, so far the painting has surprised me. Something I really struggle with as an artist is confidence in originality. Constantly, I feel like I need to watch a tutorial or look at pictures while painting my own stuff. However, with this piece I've not done either of those things yet. And I actually think it's turning out pretty well! Once i've finished it, I will upload a picture if I decided I like it enough.
I love feeling proud of my art. Or even if I hate how it turns out, I love feeling proud for doing it myself. The only other time I feel this way with art is typically in my journal (A journal is like an art diary… you use art to express feelings instead of words. You can check out my journal at http://bandboykink.tumblr.com/tagged/journal)

That's all I really have to say about appreciating my art. I hope as the year goes on, I really grow as an artist in Art 2. If you all would like, I can try and post more of my work.

In other news, I've been listening to Melanie Martinez's new album Cry Baby on repeat. It's insane. I need to get a copy ASAP. I think my favorite song is Pity Party. This is kind of irrelevant, but I've just been wanting to talk about it to someone. If you like this album- what's your favorite song off it? 
Okay and lastly, I'm updating my fanfiction Life After Death again so you all should check that you. Here is the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/43324129-life-after-death
I guess appreciating my art could cover appreciating my writing since that's technically an art. However, I'm not sure if I'm proud of this story yet. I will probably end up deleting it soon, so read it while you can!

School… and Rambling

Ah yes… it's that time of year again.

School time.  If you're one of the lucky few who haven't started yet, shut your mouth- I don't want to hear your crap.  
Unfortunately, I started last Wednesday.  It feels like the life has already been drained from me.  So far today I've already took two naps and cried over geometry homework.  That's the joy of school, isn't it?  I don't think I will ever understand why my school system insists we learn math a certain way and punishes people for doing it differently. 
On another note, I want you to think about the person who makes you the most mad. Like… you hear their name and you want to punch a wall.  Got it?  I know exactly who I would think of.  That one friend who loves starting drama for no good reason and blaming it on you.  You know… the one who tries to steal your best friend from you??  God, I hate that kid.  What kind of person comes to your mind?  I have a theory that everyone has a certain set of people in their life.  The crappy drama loving friend is definitely on everyone's list.

I hope you all know how hard it is for me to type.  I got a full set of cat nails put on a week ago and it's nearly impossible to type.  I'm blaming any typo on them.

In other news, I just got back from a party I went to earlier.  A birthday party to be exact.  A sweet sixteen to be even more exact.  
Do people not think birthdays are special?  Because all my life I remember having such high expectations for my birthday and being totally let down.  I guess people just don't think it's important.  All I ever wanted was for someone to make me feel important.  Real life isn't like the books though.  Anyway, my friend told me she wouldn't bother showing up to this girl's sweet sixteen if she was invited.  Like why?  Is it such a burden that you can't even bother to show up and make the girl feel special?  I seriously want to know if I'm the only person in the world who actually cares about birthdays. 
Also- at this said party, someone told me I was very photogenic and it made my night.  Or maybe even my whole year.

I'm not sure where I was going with this post.  Sometimes I like to pretend people care about what I have to say.  Makes no difference to me whether you read this or not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.